Awful CoWorker. Everyone has one.

10 Annoying Work Habits That Can Get You Fired My old Awful...

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:07:00 -0400

10 Annoying Work Habits That Can Get You Fired

My old Awful Coworker is guilty of all of these offenses and never got canned.

Let’s not forget the time she spent the majority of the work day giving herself a pedicure, which I had to later vacuum up myself(pictured above).

And I almost forgot about her volume issues, until I dug this one up.

10 Signs That You Should Quit Your Job

Tue, 09 Aug 2011 10:00:05 -0400

magforwomen:

We tend to spend 90% of our time at work. More than our families and friends, it is our jobs that become an integral part of our lives. Read more about : 10 Signs That You Should Quit Your Job

"I held the door open for a very rotund coworker today at the top of a stairwell as he was still..."

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 16:00:06 -0400

“

I held the door open for a very rotund coworker today at the top of a stairwell as he was still climbing…

“Oh don’t wait for me…I’m slower than the second coming”

”

- (via kandsforpres)

My ACW wouldn’t have understood this. She won’t eat...

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:37:45 -0400

My ACW wouldn’t have understood this. She won’t eat food that isn’t covered in cheese or dressing. She also keeps salt packets in her desk.

“IT DON’T TASTE GOOD WITH NO SALT ON IT.”

thedailywhat:

Happy And Healthy of the Day: McDonald’s announced today that it will begin adding fruits or vegetables to every Happy Meal.

The LA Times reports that apples will most often be served as the healthy side, but produce selection may vary depending on the branch location and time of year to include carrots, pineapple slices, raisins, and mandarin oranges.

In addition, the fast-food chain said it would lower the amount of sodium used in meal preparation, reduce the size of french fry holders from 2.4oz to 1.1, and eliminate its caramel-flavored apple dipping sauce.

According to the company’s press release, the changes are part of a “comprehensive plan” aimed at helping families “make nutrition-minded choices whether visiting McDonald’s or eating elsewhere.”

“McDonald’s will always try to do the right thing, and we know we can help make a difference in our communities, McDonald’s USA president Jan Fields is quoted as saying. “The commitments we’re announcing today will guide the future evolution of our menu and marketing.”

[latimes / prnewswire.]

Passive Agressive Notes

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:18:55 -0400

Passive Agressive Notes

Every time my coworker....

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 13:57:18 -0400

memoirsfrommyheart:

…. opens her mouth and says something completely and utterly stupid, i can’t help but sit there and think

friskylisp: The receptionist’s bible. I found the bible laying...

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 08:00:05 -0400

friskylisp:

The receptionist’s bible. I found the bible laying face-down on her desk, opened to this page and dirtied by her oily residue

How to Handle Complicated Co-Workers

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 15:18:34 -0400

How to Handle Complicated Co-Workers:

I should have kept a tally at my old job! We could have had a...

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 15:24:00 -0400

I should have kept a tally at my old job! We could have had a running Awful Coworker competition!

aterriblethingtodo:

Co-worker call/text/call out tracking sheet. #18! Congrats! Can’t wait until we hit #20!

"Hav migrain. hav to stay home"

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 10:01:06 -0400

““Hav migrain. hav to stay home””

- text from my 60 year-old coworker regarding her absence.

Note: This is only the 17th day that she text/emailed/called out this year. Yes, since January 1st, 2011. (via aterriblethingtodo)

My awful coworker used to play music on her phone at work over...

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:41:10 -0400

My awful coworker used to play music on her phone at work over the radio that was already playing. I never asked her to shut it off, because I knew it would end up like this.

Public Transportation Altercation of the Day: A lady en route to Williamsburg on the B62 is asked by the driver to turn off her “cell phone boombox” or use headphones.

Turns out public transportation patrons who inconsiderately blast music through their smartphone’s speaker aren’t very well-mannered. Who knew?

(NSFW, inconsiderate language.)

[gothamist.]

Really?

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 08:00:06 -0400

aterriblethingtodo:

Co-worker: “Even if I got here at 8, I couldn’t leave at 4 because you leave at 4.”

Me: “Have you ever gotten here at 8?”

Co-worker: “No, but I wish I could leave at 4.”

Make-up & Body Grease Smears

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:01:27 -0400

friskylisp:

I occasionally cover for the receptionist at my workplace while she takes a break. I’ve been doing this for the last few years with no problem. However, a few weeks ago, a new receptionist was hired to fill the position left vacant by a very neat and clean woman. Since then, the lobby desk, phone and computer have amassed make-up and body grease in every crevice imaginable. The horrors that follow are evidence of her disgusting, oily residue.

Make-up oil smeared all over the keyboard (this picture was taken after I wiped it down once):

The mirror sitting on her desk, smeared with grease:

Hair (a pube, right? It’s gotta be a pube) stuck in the keyboard:

The mouse is sticky, always. Here you can see a grease glob on the left clicker:

The company’s switchboard directory, removed from its protective plastic folder and now smeared with her make-up grease:

When I sit down at her desk, I spend a few minutes cleaning everything with a Lysol wet cleaning wipe. Because, what else can I do? Seriously, what can be done about this oily gunk?

"If you’re googling where the apostrophe goes in the word “doesn’t”, you have..."

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 12:06:12 -0400

“If you’re googling where the apostrophe goes in the word “doesn’t”, you have more of an issue than googling where the apostrophe goes…”

- My friend talking about her 60 year old coworker.

This is way too close to my heart. This…this is more FCW...

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 12:46:53 -0400

This is way too close to my heart. This…this is more FCW than FCW.

What’s better than the Bon Jovi hair reference during the final word of last night’s National Spelling Bee final? The #ghettospellingbee hashtag on Twitter.

[The Best Of #ghettospellingbee]

What to do when #coworker get #annoying #squish #head...

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 08:00:06 -0400

What to do when #coworker get #annoying #squish #head #lovpixlov

Hey guys! Just wanted you all to know that the Fatty Coworker...

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:00:06 -0400

Hey guys!

Just wanted you all to know that the Fatty Coworker site has a new URL, and is getting a facelift soon. Keep sending in submissions of your awful coworkers. You guys are awesome!

Kill them with kindness - dealing with people you hate

Tue, 31 May 2011 18:43:13 -0400

Kill them with kindness - dealing with people you hate:

annielambert:

You know you’re truly a mean person when the idea of “killing them with kindness” turns your stomach.

There’s this girl I work with who is a complete and utter bitch. I mean, I describe myself as a bitch because I’ll just come out and say anything I’m thinking, without worrying about whether or not it will hurt someone’s feelings.

But the difference between me and this girl is, I’ll admit that I’m a bitch, and I’ll tell you upfront that I will more than likely insult or offend you at some point in our relationship, whether it is friendship or we work together, etc.

I can’t stand this bitch. Every time I see her face at work my adrenalin starts pumping and I have this horrible urge to pick up the heaviest thing I can find and crack her skull open with it. I know that sounds horrible. I feel bad for wanting to pull every single strand of her stupid blonde hair out of her head. But I can’t help it. I mean, I may be a mean person, but I’m not violent. I would never actually physically harm someone. I just daydream about punching her teeth out.

So how exactly do you deal with working with someone you hate? And I do mean hate. The only person I would say I hate more than this evil, two-faced, manipulative, self-centered, egotistical bitch is my stepmother. And that’s marginally. So how do I work with her?

I Googled “how to work with someone you hate” and came up with this article. The idea of even being sarcastically nice to her makes me want to throw up. So instead, I just scream every curse word I can come up with at the top of my lungs repeatedly on my way to work, and picture breaking a wine bottle over her head every time I see her.

So far it has been marginally successful.

CLASSIC FCW! thedailywhat: Inconsiderate Individual of the Day:...

Wed, 18 May 2011 10:26:39 -0400

CLASSIC FCW!

thedailywhat:

Inconsiderate Individual of the Day: Lakeysha Beard of Tigard was escorted off an Amtrak train by Salem (OR) Police after passengers reported that she had threatened them for complaining that her cell phone chatter was too loud.

Beard had been talking on her phone non-stop since boarding in Oakland, refusing to heed repeated requests from train staff to turn off her cell, and reportedly became “aggressive” when confronted by passengers.

Police officers were eventually called in to remove Beard from the Seattle-bound train at a crossing two miles outside the Salem station. She was later charged with disorderly conduct.

In a brief phone interview with KATU News, Beard said she felt “disrespected” by the incident, but declined to comment further.

[komo / gawker.]

More submissions like this, please!

Wed, 11 May 2011 14:13:18 -0400

More submissions like this, please!